The pain it brought us
by Chibi-Usa2
Summary: Gordo and Lizie made a mistake, and now each have to pay. But, there are more secrets behind the mistake then one could imagine. When Gordo ran, it seems it is all up to Lizzie.Now, a year later it still haunts Gordo, and it seems to be driving him crazy


The Pain It Brought Us

Disclaimers:  They don't belong to me!

Rating: R for sexual content and angst. Themes.

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Chapter one: Then there was nothing….

I looked outside my window, looking at the world which had fallen completely.  I knew I wasn't really looking  at the streets, I knew I was looking for you.  And although I had told myself many times before that you weren't coming back, I still looked.  I wanted to see you bounding up the walk happily, as if we were still friends.  As if nothing happened between us.  But something did happen, and you were gone.  Out of my life out of my world, but never out of my mind or heart.  I closed my eyes, trying to remember your smile, but I can't even seem to do that anymore.  It was so long ago, too long ago in fact.  I really needed you right now.  I really needed to hold you, to feel your body against mine.  I really wanted us to be an us again. I sighed and shook my head, and walked over to my bed.  I lay down, and took the picture and looked at the three people in it.  The blond girl to the left of the young boy was smiling as she hugged him, and the brunette on his right, smiled as she gave him bunny ears. I looked back to the young blond girl, and saw how big and bright her smile was.  I knew she would never smile like that again, and I knew that for a fact, because that young blond girl was me. Elizabeth McGuire, best friend to Miranda and Gordo.  No, make that best friend to Miranda. No longer am I best friends with Gordo. I didn't even know whether he was alive or dead. 

`Gordo. Come back to me my love.'  I thought to myself. ` I need you right now.' I said.  And as if by instinct, my hand went down to my stomach. `Where were you when we needed you the most?' I felt  tears welling at the corner of my eyes, and I let them fall freely.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

            "David!  Can you get those girls over there?"  Yelled a stressed out waiter, who apparently had just had a customer spill their drink all over him.  

            "Yeah! I got it!"  A young man of 17 called out. He walked quickly over to the girls who were giggling and pushing each other.  When they saw him, they straightened themselves, and fixed their hair.

            "Smoking or non smoking?"  He asked them.  One of the girls, smiled seductively and said,

            "Non smoking."  She licked her lips to moisten them, and she pushed her chest out ever so slightly. The young man, whom we've come to know as David, cleared his throat and averted his gaze.  

            " Right this way ladies."  They followed him, and when he motioned for them to sit down, they all slid in. He couldn't help but notice that the girl who had answered him, had extremely beautiful long legs. He blinked several time, and breathed in deeply.

            "What can I get you girls?"  He asked taking his note book out. 

            "A little bit of you."  Said that same girl.  He looked up from his book, with a startled look on his face. 

            " *clears throat *  Is water good?"  They all said yes and David left quickly, happy to get away.  He got a pitcher of water, and went back. 

            "Here you are."  He said filling their glasses.  He couldn't help himself, he took a look at the girl and smiled. 

            "Can I get your number?"  She asked, taking the smile as a sign.  David felt himself blush.

            "Sure."  He said getting his book out once again.  He wrote down his number quickly, and gave it to her. 

            "I'll give you a call."  She said.  David smiled, and asked them what they were ordering.  When he got their orders he went around back to the cook.

            "Here are their orders." He said giving the cook the little piece of paper

            "I see you've made some friends!"  said the cook smiling. 

            "Yeah that girl asked me for my number."  David said running a hand through his unruly dark brown hair.  When he looked back, he saw the girls laughing and hitting each other playfully.  They reminded him of two girls he once knew, but he pushed that thought out of his head.  It was time he moved on. Those girls were no longer apart of his life.  He felt a sharp pain enter his heart however, and he looked down and stared at the tiles.  He knew he was lying to himself, they could never be out of his life, especially not _her. _She was his all, his heart his soul his world.  Everything was perfect between the both of them.  But then something went wrong, and he ran.  Things got too heavy and serious, and he ran.  Like a coward, not wanting to face his fears.  It was his own fault if she hated him for it, but what's done is done. 

            "Dave?  You alright?" asked the cook a bit concerned.

            "Yeah. Hey listen, I don't really feel well, and I have bills to sort out.  Can you get Amanda to cover for my shift?"  Dave asked taking his waiter apron off. 

            " Sure. You get some rest you hear?"  said the cook walking away to get Amanda. Dave nodded, and smiled. He picked up his jacket, and began leaving the restaurant.  He noticed that the girl with the long legs wasn't there.  He thought it was odd, being all her friends were there. The girls waved bye to him, and he waved back. 

            "Alena was looking for you.  I think she might be outside."  Said one of the girls.

            "okay thanks."  David said. `Alena. So that's her name.'  He thought to himself. 

 On his way out, he felt someone grab him from behind.  His first impulse was to throw the person off, but feeling the soft skin on his wrist, he stopped. 

            "Where are you going."  The person from behind whispered in his ear.  Dave smiled, knowing now it was Alena.

            "Home."  Was his only reply. 

            "Where is that?"  She asked him, bitting his ear lightly.

            "Uh-it's uh- I mean it's around the block."  He said stuttering a little.

            "Why don't you show me where it is?"  she said.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

            They entered his house, kissing and groping.  David knew it wasn't right, he knew it was all too fast.  But what did he care? He needed this.  The feel of skin on skin, to wash away all his guilt and fear. He walked into his room with her, taking off their clothing.  When they were down to almost nothing, he took the condom which was on the table next to his bed. She took it from him, and as they continued with their fervent kissing, she slid his boxers off.  He felt her slip the condom on him with her skilled hands.  He lifted her legs a little, and plunged into her.  She arched her neck back, and breathed out his name heavily. His eyes closed, and he felt memories of his past love fill him.  This wasn't love making, this was pure animalistic  hunger and desire.  Just animalistic sex. No adoration was involved, he couldn't even remember her name.  Was it Alena?  Probably, but he didn't care.  At that moment, all he could think about was trying desperately to get rid of his past love life with this girl.  He thrust himself  into her with so much force, that he almost caused her to bang into the head board. It was as if he was angry with her, but really he was angry with himself.  She dug her nails into his back, and wrapped her long slender legs around him. She bit down on her lower lip, and moaned out in pleasure.  David simply kept his eyes closed, trying to wash away the anguish which he kept inside himself.  Finally, when he reached his climax and she reached hers, he fell exhausted on her, and lay there breathing in and out rapidly.  He could feel her breast move up and down with every breath she took, and he felt her unwrap her legs from him. He still didn't feel better however.  He felt worse, all the pain which he tried desperately to wash away in this girl, still stayed within him. He closed his eyes, and fell asleep.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*Austin~Teaxs*one~year~prior~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Lizzie? Can I talk to you?"  said a young boy of 16. His vibrant eyes twinkled with an innocence that was irreplaceable.  The young girl looked at him curiously.

            "Sure Gordo. What's up?"  She asked him.  The young boy seemed nervous, and he fidgeted with the button on his coat. 

            "Well, you see, it's like this…I have been-Uggh! I really can't say it! I mean I can, but I don't know how!"  Said the young boy throwing his hands in the air.  The young blond girl laughed a little, and said,

            "What ever it is just tell me."  The young boy calmed down, and looked deep into her eyes, and sighed.

            "Lizzie, ever since seventh grade or so, I've liked-no loved you.  I never knew I could have such strong feelings for anyone.  I tried to hide it everyday of my life.  Even when I saw you kiss other boys, and when they broke your heart, I said nothing. I just need you to know, it's really tearing me apart."  He said, never looking away from her. The young girl's eyes widened, and she looked away.

            "Gordo…I really don't know what to say.  I love you, but I'm not really _in_ love with you. I mean….I don't know what to say to you."  She said getting up.  The young boy looked down to the concrete.

            "I hope you understand Gordo."  She said sadly.  He looked up at her, and forced a fake smile.

            "Yeah, sure I do."  He said getting up from the bench.

            "See you at school."  The young girl said walking away.  The young boy lowered his head, and walked home by himself.

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            The next morning, David awoke alone on his bed.  It was cold, and he saw that there wasn't even a note written or anything to explain Alena's disappearance.  He sighed, and got up.  He grabbed the bed sheet, and covered himself.  He walked to the bathroom, and turned the shower on.  Tonight, was going to be a rough night from the looks of it, he thought to himself. He thought about his flashback of the young boy declaring his love to the girl, and he felt himself smile.  It wasn't always like that, she hadn't always denied his love.  There was that one day that changed everything.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*Austin Texas~ Winter season*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Look at this! It's snowing!!"  Yelled out a very enthusiastic 16 year old girl.  The boy next to her laughed, and said,

            "This must be the first time it has ever snowed this hard!"  

            "Yeah! I mean we never see snow!" said a brunette who held her hands out as if to catch the snow.

            "Miranda! It's 4:30, don't you have to be home in five minutes?"  The young blond asked.

            "Crap! Bye you guys!"  The brunette said running as fast as she could.  

            "She'll probably never make it."  Said the boy shaking his head in disapproval.  He looked back at the blond who was staring at the ground.  

            "Lizzie? What's the matter?"  He asked her concerned. She looked back up to him, and with twinkling blue eyes she said,

            "I've been thinking a lot about what you said two months ago. Remember, at the bench?"  The young boy turned away from her remembering how she had taken every possibility and dream he had for them, and thrown it all away. 

            "Don't worry about it. I'm over it."  He said still not looking at her.  He heard her sit down on the cold grass, and he felt obliged to do the same.

            "Are you?  Because I'm not."  She said looking at his profile.  He looked at her surprised.

            "Why?"  He asked her.

            "Because I realize now that I might l-love you back."  She said quietly. Confusion had spread across the boys face.

            "What? How-Why?"  He asked.

            "I don't know.  I mean I have always loved you as a friend, but lately, every time you look at me I feel my heart beat really fast, and I can't seem to wait to see you, and things are just so confusing!"  She said frustrated.

  The young boy put his arm around her, and she let her head fall on his shoulder.  They sat there for what seemed an eternity.  Everything had sped by their eyes so swiftly.  And faster than anyone could think, they were kissing.  The boy let the kisses trail all over her, making her gasp.  There in her backyard, they kissed and touched.  Never had they had to worry about parents, they were gone for the weekend.  The boy picked her up, and carried her inside the warm inviting house.  When they were inside, he put her on the floor and went on top of her.  He continued the kissing and touching, but this time, she began to take off his jacket and clothing.  She tugged at his shirt, and fumbled with the buttons. He pushed up and she moved along with him pushing down, both enjoying the feeling of each other.  She moaned out his name in his ear, and she stifled a cry of pleasure.  He began to pull her shirt up, and she helped him by raising her back off the ground. The shirt slipped off her easily, and the young boy began to trail kisses down her neck and he licked her collar bone lightly. 

"I love you Lizzie.  I always have and I always will. No matter what happens."  He said in short gasps. He began to slip her bra straps down, and he felt her put her hand behind her back and undo the claps for him.  He stared at her quite developed chest, and he trailed more kisses on them.  She ran her fingers through his hair, and moaned out his name again and again. He lifted his head until he was eye level with her, and he kissed her.  She began to finish undoing his shirt, and when she finally had it off, she stared at his body.  He wasn't too muscular, but he did have nice sized arms and a nice chest.  She ran her fingers along his muscles, and her hands traveled down to his pants.  She undid the belt he was wearing, and he helped her with his pants.  When he was naked, he took her remaining clothing off, and paused as he positioned himself.  

"Are you sure?"  He asked her breathlessly. She had no time to respond, as she felt him thrust himself into her.  She let out a cry of pain, and he stopped and kissed her tears and whispered words of comfort in her ear. He kissed her once again on her lips, and began to pump himself in and out rhythmically. She whimpered with pain, but when the boy asked whether they should stop, she said no. 

"I want this….Just as much as you want this…"  She said as tears continued to pour down her face.  The young boy continued to make love to her on the kitchen floor, enjoying every moment spent with her.  When the young boy knew he was reaching his climax, he kissed the young girl hard and full on the lips.  Right after he came, she reached her climax, and dug her nails right into his back.  The both of them were breathing in and out rapidly, and the sweat from their bodies shone with the light that was reflecting off them. 

"I love you Gordo."  She mumbled.

"I love you too."  He said kissing her cheek.  He got off her, and saw that blood had seeped out of her and onto her thighs and his. " I think we should get cleaned up."  He said helping her off the floor.  

"Yeah. Okay, well, let's take a shower."  She said picking up her clothing.  He picked up his, and they both headed for the shower.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*The present*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*  

            David, whom was stuck in a trance, never saw the steam that poured out of the shower.  He was so engulfed in the memory, that he seemed to be reliving it.  No matter how hard he tried to forget her, it seemed she was all he could think of.   He felt the tears of anger and frustration burst forth from his eyes.  He began to sob, and his breathing came in short staggered gasps. Why had he been so stupid, why had he done this to her?  Their lives were perfect when they were just friends.  Things should've never changed, and he should have kept his feelings to himself. But he let everything get the best of him.  He went ahead and expressed every emotion and desire to her physically. 

            He put his head in his hands and continued to weep, and he beat his fist into the floor, making himself bleed.  It was mostly his fault that they had gotten into that mess.  Had he not ran away, maybe things would still be alright, maybe they could've worked together.  But no, he chose the easy way out, he chose to run. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*Austin Texas~ flash back*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

            She had come to him, with tears in her eyes.  Her cheeks flushed with the running she had done to his house, and with the aggravation she felt. 

            "Lizzie? Love?  What's the matter?"  The young boy had asked not knowing what the problem could be.  She continued to sob, and she closed the door to his bedroom, and whispered softly,

            "I'm pregnant Gordo."  His whole world came crashing down, this had to be some sick scam she was playing on him.  

            "E-excuse me? No, you can't be! This is ridiculous! How could you be…pregnant?"  The young boy asked becoming angry.

            "I am! I'm late, and I took the home test thing! I don't understand how we could be so stupid and go ahead and do this! It's all your fault Gordo! I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!!"  She yelled, covering her ears.  It was as if she were trying to block out everything she was saying.

            "My fault? My fault?  How the hell is it my fault?! It takes to bodies to create a child Lizzie! You're just as guilty as I am!"  He yelled at her.  She collapsed into his arms, and continued to cry on his shoulder.

            "You're right.  God, you're so right…I'm sorry I said those things.  What do we do now? What am I going to do now?"  She whispered hoarsely.  He hugged her tightly, and kissed the top of her head.

            "We'll work things out Lizzie.  Everything will be okay…everything." He said, not believing his own words. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Austin Texas*~ Present*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

            "Hey Lizzie. You feelin' any better?"  asked the young woman with the brown hair and dark brown eyes.  The blond who was laying on the bed said nothing, but cried silently.  "Liz, it's been a while, can't you get over it?"  asked the young woman with the brown hair. 

            "Get over what, the fact that part of me is gone forever.  Never to return?"  She said bitterly, tasting her salty tears in the process.  She closed her eyes, not wanting to look at her best friend. 

            "I know you're still sad Lizzie, but we have to get over these things, we have to move on."  Said the young woman.  Her best friend continued to ignore her, and only focused on the past.

            "He said we would get married and start a family together, work this out as one.  But he left, he left me Miranda. Do you know what that's like, to have the one person you thought loved you leave you?"  the blond said going in and out of a whisper.  She felt her best friend lay next to her, and hug her.

            " I know, he lied.  He lied to the person he supposedly loved the most. But, you can't blame him Lizzie.  He was just irresponsible, scared even."  The best friend said.

            "I miss him so much." The blond began to cry harder, and she turned toward her best friend.  

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*Austin Texas~ flash back*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

            " Lizzie?"  called out the young boy in the stillness of the room.

            "Yeah?" came the reply.

            " I love you so much."

            "I love you more Gordo."  Said the girl in his arms, touching his bare chest.

            "Let's get married.  Let's raise this baby together.  Start a little family all our own."  The young boy said excitedly.  The girl looked at him, and smiled.

            "Really? You mean it?"  She asked becoming ecstatic. 

            "Yeah!"  said the young boy pulling her in for a kiss.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

            "Gordo?  What do you think of this color for the wall paper?"  asked the boy's girl friend.  The young boy looked distant, and didn't reply.  It had been a week since he had proposed to her, and he had already begun to have second thoughts.

            "Gordo? Are you listening?!"  yelled the blond.

            "Huh? Yeah! Sorry, what?"

            "What do you think of this wall paper?"  

            "It's great."  He said flatly, fingering the button on his jacket.

            "Is that all you can say?" 

            "I'm sorry, it's terrific!"  he said sarcastically.

            "Maybe we should go home now."  

            "Maybe we should. Sorry baby. I have just been having awful headaches lately."  He said apologetically.

            "It's fine."  She said becoming happy once again.

            Once they were back at the young girls house, they sat in her room going through a baby catalog.  She rambled on and on about what they should get, how she should tell her parents, and what kind of job he should get.

            "You know, babies are a lot of work? I read how you have to wake up in the middle of  the night, and feed and change them if they cry."  She said eagerly.  He tried to look interested, but he still kept hearing the voices in the back of his mind.  They all spoke of doubts, and regrets.

            "Lizzie?  Do you see what time it is?  I have to go."  He said getting up from her bed.  She looked puzzled, but disregarded it. 

            "Okay, I'll see you tomorrow."  She said kissing him goodbye.  

He left her house, and that was last she had ever seen or heard of him.    

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*Present*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

            "Hey girls? Are you hungry?" came the voice from the other side of the door. 

            "No mom. Thanks." Was the reply.  The girls heard the person on the other side of the door shift from one foot to the other before leaving.

            "Hey, I have to go home.  But if anything call me, and we'll get together. K?"  said the brunette.  Her friend nodded, and wiped her tears from her eyes.  

            When the brunette was gone, the young remaining girl opened her eyes, and looked to the ceiling.  She put her hand to her stomach, and pressed down.  She longed to feel the baby move, but she felt nothing.  She pressed down once again, and thought of her former love.  Suddenly, in that instant, the phone rag, drawing her out of her train of thought.  She heard her mother pick it up, and she settled back down and covered her self with her blanket.  Sleep was her only escape from this madness, it was her only cure to her heart ache.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

            Things had turned for David.  He began packing, and with tears spilling down his face, he bought an airplane ticket.  He put all the possessions that he wanted in his bag, and left the other things behind.  He needed to set things right, he needed everything to become perfect.  He looked around once more, and before closing the door behind him, he took a look at the small picture of his former love.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Next day Austin Texas*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

            Lizzie McGuire age 17, lay on her bed looking at photographs. She smiled looking at the picture of her and a young browned haired boy.  They were so happy with each other.  He vowed to always love her, and to never forget her.  She looked out side and saw the rain clouds that had gathered.  She saw lightning, and jumped at the sound of thunder.  Why did it have to storm when her parents were gone on vacation with her brother? She looked around her room, suddenly feeling very terrified.  She began to pick up the phone, but at that moment, the doorbell rang. She put the phone back down, and began to head down the stairs.  

            ` Probably Miranda'  she thought to herself.  When she reached the door, she was muttering, "I'm coming, I'm coming."  She lazily opened the door, and gasped at who it was.  There, standing in the rain was a soaked young man.  His eyes were red from the crying he had done.

            "Lizzie?"  he said softly. She couldn't breathe, every fiber in her body had ached so long to hear his voice, to see his face.  Now he was here.  

            "Gordo?"  she said in a shaky voice.  He reached out to her, and kissed her hard on the lips. She felt the tears well up once again, and they trailed down her cheeks.  

            "When did you get back?" she said breathlessly.  He touched her cheeks, her lips, and he began to smile for the first time.  A genuine 1000 watt Gordo smile. 

            "Yesterday, I had to see you right away.  I've missed you so much."  He said putting his face into her hair. She hugged him tightly, and both of them stood there hugging.  Each one thanking god for have given them a second chance with each other.  When they each had let go of one another, Lizzie invited him in and closed the door. 

            "Is it alright if I stay here the night?"  He asked cautiously. 

            "Of course."  She said smiling a little.  She noticed his eyes flickered down to her stomach.  She stiffened at his gaze, and she heard him clear his throat.

            "I take it the baby's sleeping.  Can I see it?"  He asked swallowing hard.  She bit her lip, and she felt a fresh new batch of tears forming.

            "There is no baby."  She said bitterly. He looked bewildered at her.  

            "No baby? But how-"  he started.

            "I had a miscarriage."  She said.  He looked down, and stayed silent.  What was there to say?  She had had a miscarriage, there was no baby. He reached out for her hand, and kissed it. 

            "I'm so sorry I left.  I was scared of the responsibility. I didn't know if I could handle it.  But look at you, you handled everything."  He said with closed eyes.  She walked into his arms, and held him tight.  

            "I know you were scarred.  But you hurt me more than words can explain.  I needed you, but you weren't here to help me."  She said sadly.

            "I know, and I am so sorry."  He said rocking back and forth slightly. They began to head up to her room, and he set his things down on the floor.  They lay on her bed, not touching, not kissing, but simply holding each other. 

            "Lizzie McGuire?  Will you be my girlfriend again?"  he asked in her ear.  She hugged him tighter, and kissed him softly.

            "I never stopped being your girlfriend Gordo."  She replied.

            "This time things will work out, I promise."  He said to her.  In that instant, she knew this is what true love was.  She knew that things would take a turn in her life, and that their lives together would pick up from where they left off.  For their love never ended, this was just the perfect place to begin once again.  The perfect beginning to a horrible ending.

                                                END

A/N: What did you guys think? 


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